Thursday, September 25, 2008

Goals in Parenting

Parenting is really hard.  

And parenting well is a serious challenge.

For about six months now, parenting my oldest (3 1/2 year old girl) has been really tough. There has been a steady pattern of her testing us and pushing at her boundaries.  Don't get me wrong, overall she is a joy and delight.  But she can sin just as well as the next kid. 

Easy (but wrong) thing to do when problems come up?
- Give in to the constant disobedience.
- Ignore the testing and trying attitudes
- Get mad blow up at said child

Hard thing to do?
- Train my little one in the way she should go, over and over and over again...
- Encourage, stay calm and have patience
- Brain storm, ask advice, PRAY for wisdom, and try different techniques to solve the problem.

I have done all of the above in the past 6 months.  I've done the good things and the bad things.   In fact, I did all the bad parent things yesterday before 2pm.  Sigh.

After feeling discouraged, I sat down and wrote a list titled, My goals in parenting. Then I wrote another list titled, Ways to achieve these goals.  Seeing my goals of parenting written down before me was really healthy and encouraging.  There were some obvious changes to make, and some things that I can be proud of.  What struck me the most was seeing that if I want to teach a certain aspect of life, I realized once again that I need to be living accordingly.  

When I realize what I am working so hard to accomplish as a parent, it is a lot easier to have patience in the hard moments. When I see the finish line, it is easier to discipline with love and patience. It becomes worth it to be consistent each day.  

So if you, like me, have been feeling frustrated and exhausted in your parenting, sit down and make a list. Figure out what is most important for you and your family, and then do what it takes to accomplish those goals. Be honest and make the changes necessary.

And don't be too hard on yourself because parenting is really hard.

What are some of your goals?


Jenne said...

a couple of goals:
- pray with the boys daily (we have gotten into some bad habits)
- find ways to eliminate chaos (this will take some think-time)

Anonymous said...

i have a few goals that i am trying to accomplish this fall before baby #3...
-less internet time for me..more time with the girls reading and playing

-a set schedule for the fall/winter

-more bible reading together/character building

Faith said...

Good post Megan.

I want to spend more time teaching Peyton. I think she grew up before I realized it and is really ready to not just play with me or by herself but actually start learning and prepping for school a little..even though it's 2 years away.

I want to get organized this fall with toys and play areas..make them more user (and mommy) friendly.

When I am organized in my home I am a better mommy and wife.